Saga of the Cell Modem

(Written about May 25-29, 2009, 20th-24th days in Brazil)

Players: Ana, Sergio, Marilene, Marilene’s boss (Director of July 2nd School), Paolo, Pablo, Me

Exposition: Monday. Day one.
A cellular modem at Vivo (a wireless IT company) requires a credit check even if the device and the months of service are paid for in advance in cash. Credit capacity in Brazil is directly tied to one’s salary; it is not a function of a “credit rating” built over time as in the U.S. Therefore, no matter how mature you are, no matter how long you’ve owned a house or a car or a stove or a TV, if you don’t make a sufficient salary, then you can’t buy a modem. What IS “sufficient” remained elusive. It is a magic number one learns only after going through the whole process of buying the device. Ana and Sergio tried first. They don’t have enough credit to allow me to buy a modem, despite the fact that they own a fleet of vehicles for Sergio's business. We called Marilene. It turns out she doesn’t have a sufficient salary, either. Four hours down the tubes for all of us. If I had been eligible for their special promotion, it would have been no problem, but because I only want the device for two months, I have to pay the full price for the modem (R$495 instead of R$29), and the full monthly fee (R$119 instead of R$60).

Development: Tuesday. Day two.
I met Marilene and her boss (Senhor Director) at the Lapa Shopping Mall. Her boss, being a man of authority, was more intimidating to the staff at the Vivo store. First of all, they had sold the device we looked at yesterday, so buying one was a moot point. Senhor Director demanded they call their distribution office because we weren’t going to run around Salvador looking for a modem. Turns out, nobody has one. But then, another service agent told us a story which completely contradicted yesterday’s. I CAN get the promotion of R$29 for the device and R$60 per month for two months, then afterward, just cancel it and pay the fee of R$150. Now we’re talking! But then she had another idea—I should just RENT one for two months. Of course, this was the first time anyone had mentioned renting. The service agent gave Senhor Director and Marilene a name and number to call. They would check into it and the next day would call me.

False Recapitulation: Wednesday. Day three.
I didn’t receive a call in the morning, so I called Marilene. She said she’d call back in 15 minutes, but didn’t, so after 2 more hours, I called again. We’re back in the development! Vivo doesn’t have any to rent, so she is going to look into something else. By this time, Sergio and Ana had come to move me to Pirajá. The rest of the day was consumed with moving. Since Sergio was already in Pirajá and we needed transport to the Ferramenta Gerais warehouse to buy electrical equipment, he just spent the rest of the afternoon and evening with us. I moved into Senhora Antônia’s (Fabricio’s grandmother) and that was that. (All events taking place in Pirajá will be discussed in a different opus.)

Recapitulation: Thursday. Day four.
Sergio showed up late in the afternoon with a modem from Claro. I have no idea how much work he had to go through, nor how much communicating with Marilene he had to do, but there it was. BUT, it didn’t work because it wasn’t configured for Macs. I talked with service people on the phone who, thankfully, spoke English, and they said I would have to have a CD to load the software for the Mac. Sergio told me to meet him in the morning the next day at 8:40 am at the main entrance to Iguatemi Shopping Mall. OK. Later in the evening, he called again and said he would come out to Pirajá. Hmm. I wonder what’s going on.

Coda/Theme C ala Beethoven: Friday. Day five. Sergio arrives around noon by public bus (?!?). His microbus is broken and will cost R$500 to fix. He is in a hyper-anxious state, because he feels obligated to help me and at the same time doesn’t have transport. He took the bus out here. We were to go together to Iguatemi (with Fabricio) on the bus, but then he talked Joelma’s brother, Marcos, to drive us. At Iguatemi, we were given guest passes into the Claro service call center, where Pablo works. We tried the CD and it didn’t work (Window’s only). Pablo disappeared for a few minutes and returned with a flash drive which contained the proper software. By this time, Sergio is almost beside himself. He starts telling his story to Pablo and starts crying. When we leave, Sergio asks Pablo to take us to ITEBA, but I don’t understand why. Sergio is so uptight, I’m not understanding much of what he’s saying. (He’s also chain smoking.) At ITEBA, it turns out that we’re there for me to get reimbursed by Marlene for the money I spent the other day on materials. She writes me a check for R$6940 at a rate of US$1=R$1.93. Awful!! He insists that we then go to a bar and drink. Marcos wants to leave, but Sergio needs to blow off steam, so we stay there for almost three hours. It was somewhat amusing to watch another group of kids celebrate a birthday and do karaoke, including a song called "Gay Robocop." Over the course of the day, I ended up paying R$50 for gas for Marcos, R$37 for the bar tab, and R$50 for Marcos’s trouble (as suggested by Sergio). Despite his good intentions, I kindof wish Sergio had just stayed out of it all. Finally back in Pirajá at about 8:00pm, the modem works. Whew!

My feelings about all this? Anger at the bureaucracy. Humbled and embarrassed by all the help I’ve required. Fear because of the amount of money I’ve spent. Frustration and confusion about what to do to alleviate Sergio’s manic behavior.